Back Seat Driver

I remember distinctly the day I first realized Julia was a person with a will of her own...the kind that was so strong no amount of bribery, mommy manipulation or time-out threats could overcome. We had such a harmonious life with me mostly getting my way on every issue until one day when she was about 18 months old and decided fashion statements were too precious to leave to her frumpy mother. On that day, the power of a plastic faux Hawaiian skirt overcame any regard for the weather (40 and rainy) or common sense (it caught on every door frame and was a disaster in the car seat). She was going to wear that skirt with nothing but a diaper underneath if it was the last thing she did. I realized it was the first of many battles I was going to loose. Other parents say you should pick and choose your battles but what they really mean is you can't win without brute force anyway so, unless you want CPS on your doorstep, why bother. Actually, Julia is a pretty easy going kid if I give her plenty of choices--and when things get really nasty it turns out time-outs really do work (phew). But it sure is an eye opener to realize your children are individuals with their own thoughts, opinions, desires, and tastes. Luckily, Mimi hasn't reached the point of obstinate independence yet. I can dress her in all the cute clothes my heart desires and she doesn't complain. I can feed her whatever I think she should be eating and she goes along happily. She'll ride along on my hip to any destination I choose and still delights in being popped into the car seat for what she anticipates to be yet another great adventure...be it to Target, the grocery store, or wherever. Meanwhile, her beautifully self-styled big sis rides along next to her wearing grandma's old blue satin nightie (plucked from the Goodwill bag), 12 pony-tails, and orange clogs. I know full well Mimi's complacent days won't last. That she, like her big sis, has a mind of her own is clearly evident. When she will choose to fully exercise her power, however, remains to be seen--though each day brings us inexorably closer. Last week Mimi and I were driving home from swimming when I pulled up to a red light and brought the car to a full stop before executing a right turn. My indicator was on and my attention was on traffic when I heard a forceful voice bark out from behind, "TURN, Mommy!" And while she didn't actually say the words for crying out loud, the message came through in tone loud and clear. Meek and mellow baby? Not for long.