crying uncle

Prepare yourself. This isn't going to be pretty.

It is a well documented fact (within my own family) that I am the second worst mother ever in the history of the world when I am sleep deprived. I am ill-tempered, loud-voiced, irrational, and a bad cook. I may threaten all kinds of nasty violence but I stop short of actually slaughtering my children. I'm a better mother than Medea.

I read back on one of my posts from a few years ago. It was written at about this time of year. In it, I reflected on how my friend Susan claim when kids reach their "half-birthday" something goes haywire. Dang if it isn't happening again.

My children are neither going to sleep easily nor staying asleep through the night. Tonight alone the girls' bedtime was a series of shenanigans that included changing pajamas, two extra trips to the potty, requests for sippy cups of water and milk, getting out of bed twice to select this or that stuffed animal to sleep with, whining ad nauseum, a demand for one of daddy's shirts to sleep with (clean, don't worry), and did I mention the whining? Then there are the 10 minute kisses. It sounds cute when I write it like that but in reality it is like a ball and chain that prevents us from doing anything but hovering around the girls' bedroom door for 10 minutes before going in to give another bedtime kiss. Wanna take a shower? Make a snack? Check emails? Breathe? Heaven forbid it takes 11 minutes because there will be Hell to pay. Mimi has an internal clock like some fancy pants Swiss watch and knows exactly when 10 minutes is up. Eerie.

Once they fall asleep, one or the other of them has been waking up at least once a night for the past week or so. For the love of Pete, why??? I'll let you know when I figure that one out.

Then there is the ongoing daily behavior. We are just in this zone of misery. Lost puzzle piece? Why not just cry for 30 minutes exactly as though the world had ended. Napkin fall to the floor during dinner? Let's whimper until someone else picks it up. Time to get dressed? Great time to play limp noodle and claim to be too tired to put on socks. The second worst mother in the history of the world does not handle these situations well.

Exacerbating it all is the fact that Mark has pneumonia. He's been sick for over 3 weeks. He really is the one you should be feeling sorry for except that he gets to stay home and watch Flintstones DVDs, have someone (guess who?) wake up every 4 hours to re-administer Tylenol when his temperature rises. Me? I'm not cut out to be a nurse. My disposition needs its beauty rest. Three weeks on the front lines at home, teaching a wild herd of fifth graders, trying to do what I can around the house, and worrying about Mark's health, has turned my life into "mama, mama, mama, Ms. Kelley, Ms. Kelley, Ms. Kelley, wipe my fevered brow, wipe my fevered brow, wipe my fevered brow" and something has got to give. Let's hope it's not my foothold on being the second worst mother.

BTW, Mark is doing much better since taking some heavy duty Mucinex and a new round of antibiotics. He is taking it easy and is improving nicely. Just slow going.