The Gift

We're getting ready for Christmas and trying to avoid the stress, panic, extravagance and drama that tend to descend upon us this time every year. Not traveling takes a big load off but just when we stop to congratulate ourselves for keeping life realistic, we turn around and find something else to sweat about.

Sometimes it's little things. Like each year I set up an advent calendar for the girls. I bought ours two years ago, having fallen deeply in love with it, writing a blog post declaring my eternal devotion and promising to care for it in good times and in bad. This year I am wondering how binding blog covenants are. I'm not yet ready to hire a lawyer but it is a challenge finding 25 objects to put in the teeny tiny little boxes. My criteria are fairly simple: each item must be either really cheap (like a piece of gum), really small (like a sticker), really special (like a note showing the girls where to find beautiful nutcracker ornaments for our tree), really fun (like an invitation for a walk around the neighborhood to see the holiday lights), or really meaningful (like a prayer).


I try to put some effort into the experience, which is kind of a hard given I always somehow forget that Advent starts immediately on the heels of Thanksgiving. I usually remember just as I sit down to eat the turkey dinner and find myself mentally planning Advent tokens between bites of turkey and stuffing.

But by enlisting the help of my good friends stress, panic, extravagance and drama, I did manage to get things ready in time. This involved shopping during my lunch hour for trinkets, typing up special rhyming notes complete with little pictures the minute my students left the room in the afernoon, and tricking the girls into doing things in their bedrooms while I placed the first night's gift. It was a note wishing them happy Advent, explaining all about how we are waiting for Jesus and directing them to a new Nutcracker CD. This is one of our two REALLY SPECIAL gifts. Gifts that actually cost money. Gifts of things we thought would make this holiday extra special.

I was feeling rather smug about pulling it all off as we did our traditional first night thing: We light some candles, sing a Christmas song, and then the girls open their box. They negotiated box opening rights and agreed they would take turns with Mimi going first. She gently opened the tiny door and tentatively reached her finger inside to grasp the note. Julia read it aloud and they raced to see what awaited them in the living room. They love the music and love to dance (especially ballet) so we thought it was the perfect gift. Both girls stared blankly at the CD. Julia politely offered to play it. Mimi was more direct. "That's not much of a gift!" she declared.

I didn't cry. I took a deep breath. I looked at Mark, who was looking back at me. We stared into each other's eyes for a few seconds, trying to telepathically develop a plan to impart parental wisdom. One that didn't involve calling our baby an ingrate. Knowing that if the CD went unappreciated, the notes offering a prayer were definitely going to be an even bigger disappointment. I thought, Dang, why can't things ever be easy (I think that a lot). And we said some words (I don't remember which ones) and we tried to explain how Advent is about waiting and being excited for Jesus coming and that he is the real gift. And how items in our Advent calendar aren't meant to be presents like on Christmas morning. And to show some appreciation for once in your life, for crying out loud (I think we said it more gently than that but couldn't swear to it). And most of it fell on deaf ears because I think Mimi mostly hears blah, blah, blah and Julia had, by this time, unwrapped the CD and popped it into the player and there was dancing to be done.

But it wasn't a total loss because later on, when I was calm and happy (having danced the dance of the Sugar Plum Fairies with my daughters about 12 times) I realized I got a gift, too. The opportunity to talk each day with my girls about what Advent and Christmas is all about each time they open a little box. Can you picture their eyes rolling on day 23 as I launch into yet another version of The True Meaning of Christmas? Kind of makes me chuckle thinking about it. But hopefully it will help us all keep our eye on the ball and not spend too much time with stress, panic, extravagance and drama this year.